Boss doesn’t carry a briefcase. Well, he used to carry a leather bag, but now he carries so much stuff back and forth from his house to the office that he has to have a cardboard box. I’m not sure what all is in this box and I don’t think he does either. I do know that he carries his toothbrush with him in this box. This in itself is not very unusual–many people carry a toothbrush with them to work so they can brush after lunch. Most people, however, carry the toothbrush in a case or with a cover. Not Boss! He throws it in the box with all the papers, files, overdue tax forms, dust, dirt, and disease. It’s filthy. It looks like he’s scrubbed tires with it. Maybe not car tires, but at least bike tires or rollerskate wheels. The bristles point in a hundred different directions, all mashed into place from usage of who knows how many months (years?), and I’m sure having files thrown on top of it doesn’t help. The one positive thing about this is that the toothbrush is one of the electric ones with the small, round head, so there’s less surface area to be contaminated. I asked him last week why he doesn’t change the brush part and he said, “Yeah, I should. I can’t find any of those things. Where do they sell them? Grocery stores?”
Once again: “months (years?).”
Boss’s loves to entertain himself throughout the day by playing the blame game. I assume he’s entertaining himself, because I truly cannot imagine how someone could consistently blame others for things that go wrong and expect people to take them seriously. Who am I kidding? I don’t think he’s trying to entertain himself at all.
Yesterday one of our employee’s cars broke down, and he called for someone from the office to come pick him up. Boss immediately said, “[Employee] is so hard on his vehicles. He slams them into gear and accelerates too quickly.” Now, I cannot remember the last time Boss has ridden in a car with this employee, so I do not know what he is basing this claim on. A one time experience perhaps? Not even to mention that Boss’s company cars are very much decrepit and that he is always complaining about how his wife is nagging him to repair their own vehicles.
So I asked him, “So [employee's] car breaks down, and the first thing you do is blame him for it? Why do you always blame other people for everything that goes wrong?”
His response?
“Because I like to.”
If by any chance he ever discovers this blog and ever questions me about why I am doing this, I can say right now that he has provided me with the best possible response. I do it because I like to.
